When is enough, enough?

I have always felt God wanted me to reach out and help others in a time of need. I have always been willing to do so. It isn't a perfect world, we all struggle at times. I have really been struggling with how much do I give? God gave to me until it hurt. He still gives to me and I know I hurt Him everyday.

I am hurting, emotionally. I have nothing left to give. My giving is costing me my serenity. I really don't know how I am making it these days. God has given me a wonderful Christian husband who has been very strong for me these past few weeks. I know he is hurting also.
I have prayed about this, and I feel that God has freed me from the struggle that I have to keep on giving. I can't give what I don't have, and I have nothing left to give.

I feel God has shown me that I tried. I tried to be His "tool", to help. The door was closed not by my choice, but hers. I gave it my best. I am powerless over people, places and things. My serenity now must come first, not her physical needs or wants. It makes me sad, that she is such a selfish person and really does not care about who she hurts.

I am thankful that God has put people in my life that know when to reach out and give back to us. That know sometimes we have nothing left to give. We had a great Saturday evening with Liz, Scott and the boys. The food, the jokes, the laughter, the heart felt conservation, the dog's rhymetic bounce of the ball on the steps, hugs and kisses from the boys, the waving goodbyes at the window...they all are gifts from God. Comfort that was needed, wanted and accepted as a gift from God and a loving caring family.

I am so grateful....

Too good to be true

I started working at this awesome job about four years ago. It has been the best job I have ever had. The pay isn't that good, but the respect and the benefits have made it more than a job. It was one of those jobs that I never dreaded going to work. I might not wanted to go to work because I was tired, but I never did not want to go to work because of the job, the atmosphere, or the attitudes in the office. It was "too good to be true".

New management came in last fall. Our executive director and business manager got caught with their hands in the cookie jar. I have always heard if it is too good to be true it usually is.

It was fun and nice while it lasted. In this day and age, I am grateful to have a job.

However, change is in the air, and I already know that all the extras that made it an awesome job are being taken away. I have been mentally and spiritually preparing myself that it was going to happen. I have tried to have a spirit of gratitude that I still have a job. The extras that we once had, will be missed for a season. New people that come into our organization will never know what they missed. With time I will accept they are no longer a part of the "big picture".

It creates feelings and I am not really sure what all the feelings are...I know God restores what has been taken away...I am having to pray that God will restore to me the joy that once was there about my job. I know my spirit of gratitude will not change. However, I know my attitude is now, it is just a job, and I don't like having that attitude.

Time Flies When You are Having Fun

I have learned with age, like everyone else, that the older I get, time just seems to fly by, as "they" say. Whoever "they" are. My sister frequently refers to "they", whoever "they" are, but she can never tell me who "they" are either.

I can hardly believe it is January 27. I have been present and accounted for the past 27 days, but it just seems like it is moving too quickly. I have not accomplished all the goals I had established this month. I don't guess it is anything to fret over, due to the fact, that the project elves have not waltzed into my office or my home and completed them for me, as much as I wish they would. I have completed some task, and I am thankful for the ones completed. I have made progress on others. The month has not been wasted. Like always I am sure I have set my goals too high. That tends to be the Wanda way.

As I age, I have learned that I like simple. The book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3, discusses there is an appointed time for everything. I love this chapter of the Bible. It is written very simply. For me, is very easy to understand in relation to other scripture.

I think about the kids in my life. Will they ever have the opportunity to slow down and enjoy life? Our world is centered around constant action and entertainment. Cell phones, ipods, laptop computers, portable dvd players just to mention a few. All designed to make our life easier or more entertaining "on the run". I am thankful for the friends in our world like Liz and Scott and Vicki and Danny who plan camping trips and other activities that allow their kids to "slow down" for a season.

My goals for February? Not to set any new goals for new projects at home or at work. Complete the goals I had establised for January that did not get completed. Focus on my weight loss and keep it simple.

After all, February only has 28 days, for someone old like me, it will seem like it only had 14!

Lazy Friday

At 12:00 my world will change into a lazy Friday afternoon. It is a cold, cloudy winter day...the kind I love. The day just invites me to participate in a snuggle feast with my favorite blanket, my puppies, cats and a good book or movie. Catnapping between chapters, the calming of the cats symphony purr, the warmth of the fleece blanket, and puppy kisses to remind me she is still keeping guard over the relaxing afternoon. Soft lamp light adds a warm glow to the room. Veggie soup is on the menu for dinner. The smell of soup simmering and fresh baked bread will add to the laziness of the afternoon. I am thankful God occasionally gives me days to be lazy and enjoy what He has provided. Scripture states on the seventh day He rested. Friday afternoon may not be the official Sabbath day, but God knows my needs. Thank you God for this afternoon.