When is enough, enough?

I have always felt God wanted me to reach out and help others in a time of need. I have always been willing to do so. It isn't a perfect world, we all struggle at times. I have really been struggling with how much do I give? God gave to me until it hurt. He still gives to me and I know I hurt Him everyday.

I am hurting, emotionally. I have nothing left to give. My giving is costing me my serenity. I really don't know how I am making it these days. God has given me a wonderful Christian husband who has been very strong for me these past few weeks. I know he is hurting also.
I have prayed about this, and I feel that God has freed me from the struggle that I have to keep on giving. I can't give what I don't have, and I have nothing left to give.

I feel God has shown me that I tried. I tried to be His "tool", to help. The door was closed not by my choice, but hers. I gave it my best. I am powerless over people, places and things. My serenity now must come first, not her physical needs or wants. It makes me sad, that she is such a selfish person and really does not care about who she hurts.

I am thankful that God has put people in my life that know when to reach out and give back to us. That know sometimes we have nothing left to give. We had a great Saturday evening with Liz, Scott and the boys. The food, the jokes, the laughter, the heart felt conservation, the dog's rhymetic bounce of the ball on the steps, hugs and kisses from the boys, the waving goodbyes at the window...they all are gifts from God. Comfort that was needed, wanted and accepted as a gift from God and a loving caring family.

I am so grateful....

Too good to be true

I started working at this awesome job about four years ago. It has been the best job I have ever had. The pay isn't that good, but the respect and the benefits have made it more than a job. It was one of those jobs that I never dreaded going to work. I might not wanted to go to work because I was tired, but I never did not want to go to work because of the job, the atmosphere, or the attitudes in the office. It was "too good to be true".

New management came in last fall. Our executive director and business manager got caught with their hands in the cookie jar. I have always heard if it is too good to be true it usually is.

It was fun and nice while it lasted. In this day and age, I am grateful to have a job.

However, change is in the air, and I already know that all the extras that made it an awesome job are being taken away. I have been mentally and spiritually preparing myself that it was going to happen. I have tried to have a spirit of gratitude that I still have a job. The extras that we once had, will be missed for a season. New people that come into our organization will never know what they missed. With time I will accept they are no longer a part of the "big picture".

It creates feelings and I am not really sure what all the feelings are...I know God restores what has been taken away...I am having to pray that God will restore to me the joy that once was there about my job. I know my spirit of gratitude will not change. However, I know my attitude is now, it is just a job, and I don't like having that attitude.

Time Flies When You are Having Fun

I have learned with age, like everyone else, that the older I get, time just seems to fly by, as "they" say. Whoever "they" are. My sister frequently refers to "they", whoever "they" are, but she can never tell me who "they" are either.

I can hardly believe it is January 27. I have been present and accounted for the past 27 days, but it just seems like it is moving too quickly. I have not accomplished all the goals I had established this month. I don't guess it is anything to fret over, due to the fact, that the project elves have not waltzed into my office or my home and completed them for me, as much as I wish they would. I have completed some task, and I am thankful for the ones completed. I have made progress on others. The month has not been wasted. Like always I am sure I have set my goals too high. That tends to be the Wanda way.

As I age, I have learned that I like simple. The book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3, discusses there is an appointed time for everything. I love this chapter of the Bible. It is written very simply. For me, is very easy to understand in relation to other scripture.

I think about the kids in my life. Will they ever have the opportunity to slow down and enjoy life? Our world is centered around constant action and entertainment. Cell phones, ipods, laptop computers, portable dvd players just to mention a few. All designed to make our life easier or more entertaining "on the run". I am thankful for the friends in our world like Liz and Scott and Vicki and Danny who plan camping trips and other activities that allow their kids to "slow down" for a season.

My goals for February? Not to set any new goals for new projects at home or at work. Complete the goals I had establised for January that did not get completed. Focus on my weight loss and keep it simple.

After all, February only has 28 days, for someone old like me, it will seem like it only had 14!

Lazy Friday

At 12:00 my world will change into a lazy Friday afternoon. It is a cold, cloudy winter day...the kind I love. The day just invites me to participate in a snuggle feast with my favorite blanket, my puppies, cats and a good book or movie. Catnapping between chapters, the calming of the cats symphony purr, the warmth of the fleece blanket, and puppy kisses to remind me she is still keeping guard over the relaxing afternoon. Soft lamp light adds a warm glow to the room. Veggie soup is on the menu for dinner. The smell of soup simmering and fresh baked bread will add to the laziness of the afternoon. I am thankful God occasionally gives me days to be lazy and enjoy what He has provided. Scripture states on the seventh day He rested. Friday afternoon may not be the official Sabbath day, but God knows my needs. Thank you God for this afternoon.

Hamburger Helper

Mother called this morning. It was a fun phone call. She called to let me know that 49 years ago today she became my Mother. We share special moments like that. She could remember that my grandmother made me a hamburger for supper on the night that she and Daddy married. I was planning fish for dinner tonight, but I think I will have to change my plans. In honor of the day it only seems fitting that a hamburger be in order. Who knows, maybe even homemade on loaf bread and not a bun. I am sure that is the way my grandmother would have made it.

Git-r-done

I would most likely not make my mother proud admitting that I know who Larry the Cable Guy is. I would most likely fall out of my chair if she admitted she knows who he is and has ever heard any of his jokes. But, I have to borrow a line from Larry, "git-r-done". I have been really motivated since the first of November and I have been able to accomplish many task. I am excited about the accomplishments that I have done. I wish I knew what had changed to get me so motivated, but all I can say is Praise God and thank you for giving me the renewed joy.

I have taken out time for me, not enough time, but the time that I have had has been fun. I have almost completed a Christmas quilt I started 2 years ago. My goal is to complete it and snuggle under it for the first time Thanksgiving weekend. I hope the weather cooperates, and we are not wearing shorts. I have also started some Christmas sewing projects and I have enjoyed working on them.

God is showing me that phyical rest is important, but renewal also comes in taking out some time to mentally rest and enjoy the talents that He has given me. He gave them to me for a reason. He wants me to enjoy them. My talents that He gave me help me to minisiter to others. I let someone who is suppose to be a spiritual leader in my world rob me of that joy a couple of years ago. He condimed the ladies in our church who use their talents to minister to others by stating we are robbing God of our time when we sew and as he called it are "stampin' up" (making cards). I recently re-read Proverbs 31:10-31, about an excellent wife. I am far from an excellent wife, just ask Bill. I have learned if I am working on being an excellent wife, I am giving myself and my time to the Lord. I am far from robbing God of my time, I am seeking to serve Him. Proverbs 31:31, states, Give her the product of her hand, and let her works praise her in the gates. Thank you Lord for reminding me that the talents you have given me are products of my hands, and you want me to use them for you.

New kid on the block

Hannah: Favored by God, gracious, graceful

God blessed our family this summer with Hannah. I had the opportunity to meet Hannah this past week. Hannah is from China and has special physical needs. God has given her with a very strong and loving spirit. He has also given her a clear and sharp mind.

I can't begin to put myself in Hannah's shoes. A new country, new family, new name, new language, new foods, new religion, new traditions, and the list goes on and on. I have tried to think how I would adjust to being the new kid on the block in China. New country, new family, new name, new language, new foods, new traditions...I can't begin to imagine, and I am a fairly flexible ole' girl.

During our visit, Hannah announced one morning, "Ready to go back to China now." My heart broke, not because she doesn't love us, but because she is missing her familiar, her comfort zone. Homesickness is not just an American event.

I know God has it all under control and that He will meet all of Hannah's needs. After all, her name means favoured by God, gracious, graceful. I thank Him for that. I know He will continue to give her serenity and peace. As her aunt, it is my job to pray for her, to love her, to ask God what I need to do for her as she grows and matures. Paul tells us in Philippians that He who began a good work in us, will be faithful to perfect it. I will never know why God brought Hannah into our world. I don't need to know, that is not important, I am thankful that He did.