thank you for sharing

My friend and co-worker, Michael died last night. He was not in my world for a very long time, only about a year. He was an awesome man. God allowed me to see Him in Michael on more than one occasion. He was a blessing in my life. I think about the words of John Donne's sermon when he said, ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee. Michael touched many lives, not just mine. He offered hope, life, freedom to many a person in recovery for addiction problems. He offered laughter, smiles and kind words each day. I already miss my friend. I thank God for putting Michael in my world. He always knows who we need in our world and when it is time for them to move on to another place. I know Michael is in a wonderful place, called Heaven. He is dancing with the angels, snuggled in the arms of God's love, walking streets of gold. Thank you Lord for sharing Michael with us, even if only for a short time...I don't understand your timing Lord, but I accept it.

She thinks she's a "coon dog"

Mindi, my 6 pound Pomeranian, decided this morning that she could take on the world. Rocky Raccoon invited himself to dine on cat food on the back porch, and Mindi had other things in mind. She decided to fight for what was hers. She kindly asked Rocky to leave the porch with a few barks. However, Rocky was like a woman with a coupon, he was not leaving until he had completed shopping. Mindi, then decided to add a little attitude to the conservation. Clearly Rocky gave her his "speak to the paw" routine and continued on at the buffet. Mindi decided to "kick it up a notch" and it was clear to the entire neighborhood that "not all was right with the world" at the Bricker household. I am not sure who asked whom to dance, but it was clear Mindi decided to lead. She waltzed Rocky right up the tree and proceeded to tell everyone in the neighborhood not only was he a lousy dancer, but also a cheap date. We haven't seen Rocky in a few days, maybe he is looking for a home that offers more compassion. Maybe it was humiliation, he clearly outweighed her, or maybe he is just waiting for us to get a Lazy-Boy sofa or recliner.

Hands off

Serenity: peace, clearness, calmness, quietness, stillness, calmness of mind, undistrubed state, composure, eveness of temper

I allowed someone to steal my serenity yesterday. I know God had a hand in it. If He had not, I would have gotten out of her car and walked home. God in His wisdom gently reminded me to let her be where she is. Sit back and take it, that He would protect me from the wrath and the words that were so cutting. I did. However, I allowed it to stay in my mind for the rest of the day. The words hurt, but in listening to them gave me insight as to where she is. God showed me that she is not where she thinks she is and she is headed for another crash and burn. Resentments are killing her. I don't know how much longer she will be able to carry that heavy load she is trying to bare. All I can do is pray for her. Give her to God and ask Him to carry her resentments for her.

God prepared me for what was coming. It is amazing to watch God at work. I am in total awe of His love. Our worship service was great at church. God used our praise and worship time to allow me to snuggle in His love. My friend went to church with me. Maybe she got something totally different out of the service. Maybe God gave her the courage to "air" her resentments towards me. Maybe that is why God said, sit there and listen. I can't change her feelings towards me, they are her feelings. I have worked long and hard to let her know that I love her and care about her. Father, she is yours. Use me if I am needed, otherwise remind me to stay out of Your way. You don't need my help.

Camping...

Today was the first day that it really felt like fall. I have loved it. This morning's temp was in the 40's and the high today was 68! It makes me want to go camping. I grew up camping. It was a Kendall family tradition and I am thankful that it continued to be a Bricker family tradition. The evening camp fires, sharing uninterrupted time with family and friends, stories, campfire stew, sandwiches, misquotes, and the list goes on and on. The memories and laughter that have been shared on many a camping trip will always be in my heart. The renewal of sitting in God's perfectly created world is in it's self a time of renewal. I see the trees, feed the ducks, deer and the squirels. I watch the beautiful sunsets over the lazy lake and I am grateful that God gives me short breaks to enjoy His beauty, to be physically and spiritually renewed. I can't understand how anyone can look at a tree and not believe in God. Who else could grow a tree?

Sentimental Journey

Last night as I was leaving work, my cousin called. Her news, it is going to be a girl. Her daughter is expecting. Her name is going to be Bain, a family name. After I hung up I realized how blessed I am. God used Suzanne to remind me of all the wonderful people He has placed in my life. Family is so important to me. Of all my family members, I am most likely the most sentimental about family and family memories. I try to share with my family how much I love them. No doubt about the reason, I know why. I started losing family members when I was a baby. Beginning at age 18 months with my Mother.

However, for the people God removed from my world, He replaced and added more. He gave me another Mom who loves me very much and I her. She loved me so much she adopted me. How many women do that? Actually work towards making blended families their own. I never looked at Mother as someone who was trying to replace my mother. She didn't try to do that. She loved me in her own way, as a Mother. I consider myself blessed, I had two Mothers who loved me. One who gave me life and the other who taught me how to live. It was all part of God's plan for me. Psalms 149 tells me that He had my whole life mapped out long before I was born. I have friends and clients who often tell me that their mother is their best friend. I never wanted my mother to be my best friend. I wanted my mother to always be my mother. To care for me, love me and nurture me as only a mother can.

Marianne and Van, my niece and nephew are the light of my life. As far as I know, they have never looked upon me as not being their biological aunt. I cherish every minute I get to share with them. I get excited when I get an e-mail from them, just because I am their aunt and they want to share something in their world with me.

Van has blessed our family with 5 children. His (our) newest is adopted from China and I can't wait to meet her. I once read a poem about adoption that I think sums it all up. One of lines of the poem will forever be a part of me. "My precious child, you didn't grow under my heart, you grew in it." My family for some reason allowed me to grow in their hearts...as we are already doing with Hannah. Thank you, Van, for being willing to to open your heart.

Marianne has a spirit of giving and compassion. Her humor is a gift that God not only gave to her, but to our family. Marianne's humor is one of the strengths of our family. Marianne also has the ability to think "outside the box". What a gift and a talent to have. She is not scared to reach for the "stars". She is a "shining star" and I thank God that He has given her that freedom. God knows just who we need in our world doesn't He?

Shirley. I would love to say she is my best friend, but she is more than that, she is my sister. My friends come and go, they change, they don't always love me unconditionally. I love my sister unconditionally. Who else could to back over my tricycle with the car and I still love her? That is a major issue in your world when you are five years old, to have your one of your sources of transportation bite the dust. I am sure that my parents were just grateful that it was not my cast iron John Deere tractor that she backed over.

My aunts, uncles, cousins and my grandparents allowed me to grow in their hearts. My favorite "Granny story" was the one she would frequently tell me about how she feel in love with me the first time she saw me. She never forgot the clothes I was wearing the very first time she saw me. Her strengths were love and laughter. My Papaw instilled in me his love for roses and gardening. My favorite cousin story about the thunderstorm will always be a smile to my face and heart. My aunts and uncles each contributed their special memories of love to molding me into the person I am today.

God once again. He causes all things to work together for the good. Thanks to my family who lives in my heart.

Fanny is Anemic

Exercise. It is not a four letter word. Count the letters carefully...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Hmmmm....I can hear Craig now. No, it isn't a four letter word, just multiply 4 x 2????? and that would make it two four letter words.

The iron in my blood has certainly turned to lead in my butt. No, it would not make my Mother proud that I used the word butt, but sometimes you just gotta! Nothing else will fit. I have lost a lot of weight, to date, 185 pounds. However, "Fanny" wants to be the last to depart. She is hanging on for dear life. She thinks we are best friends. I don't have the heart to tell her it is time for us to put our relationship "behind us".

I love exercising. It really makes me feel better physically and emotionally. I have done really well with my exercise program, until...here it comes, confession time, (a drum roll would work well here) a couple of months ago. Now, I walk in from work. My leaded, still over sized "Fanny" drags me to the nearest chair, forces me to flop down and will not allow me to move from the chair. It is like a giant oversize magnet has control of "Fanny". It will only release me from the giant over sized chair if, and only if, I make a commitment to get up out of the chair, and wag the two of us bed. In order to get to the bedroom, I have to walk right by all the wonderful exercise equipment that God has blessed me with and expects me to use. I look at it and "Fanny" reminds me that I made her a promise to go to bed. She also speaks clearly that she is way too heavy and tired to climb up on any of that stupid looking equipment. The argument that goes on between my brain and "Fanny" at that moment is frightening. Obviously, "Fanny" is stronger than my brain, because she wins the argument every time. "Fanny" tells my brain if you force me to walk over there, I promise you, I will sit down. My brain believes her every time.

My exercise equipment is in my sewing room. It is also the address of my iron and ironing board. My wonderful mother in all her wisdom, instilled in her children the importance of looking nice when going out in public. Clean clothes, neatly pressed, etc....I try to honor my mother's wishes in this area of my life. Lately, I have been wearing more clothes that don't need pressing. You know, the guilt trip of having to face the lonely exercise equipment and that emotional battle that goes on between my brain and "Fanny". I don't want "Fanny" to win that battle at 6:00 in the morning and the two of us have to go back to bed. However, as fate would have it, it happened! This morning, I had to re-introduce myself to the iron and ironing board. I was totally out of clothes that I could wear without pressing. I begin to prepare my brain for the fact that we were going to have to walk by the exercise equipment. That we needed to stop, but there just was not time this morning. So there was no need to get into this big argument with "Fanny".

As I stood at the ironing board, preparing to look my best, I suddenly had the divine revelation that ironing my dress was exercise...you know "pumping iron". The emotional freedom that I felt at that moment, I will never be able to forget, totally indescribable. Wouldn't you know it, of all the times for my brain to win an argument with "Fanny" it would have to be at that very moment. "Yep, keep thinking like that and we will have to change "Fanny's" name to Big Bertha."